Super Bowl Props

With the Super Bowl approaching, I will be making my annual tribute to the gambling mecca event. The game has an absolutely absurd number of player props to bet on, not to mention the usual coin flip and National Anthem over/under. I mean this year goes beyond anything I can remember in recent memory with the prop bets. "How many times will Pete Townshend do his legendary windmill move?" O/U 5.5.  So let's dive right in...

Coin Flip:
Tails never fails. This one is simple, and quite frankly is one of the best odds you'll get on any Super Bowl bet. 50/50? I'll take those odds any day.

How long will it take Carrie Underwood to sing the National Anthem?
Over 1 minute 42 seconds. Go ahead, sing it yourself. See how long it takes you when you aren't performing it with millions of people watching. Underwood is a female vocalist and shes going to stretch out those cords for a while. I think the standard yearly 1:42 gets crushed this year.


Will A Member of The Who smash a guitar on stage during the halftime show: 
No -190 odds. Ever since Nipplegate, the halftime show has been tamer and kinder on viewers. I doubt that The Who will get that crazy for the (maybe) 3 songs they are going to sing. Why waste a guitar after just 3 songs?!

Which CBS Show will get the most promos during the game? 
Two and a Half Men 15/1 odds. With Charlie Sheen jailbound after his holiday freakout, I would assume that they want to push this show until they cancel it when Sheen heads to the big house for a few years. This is actually the longshot bet with Undercover Boss being the odds on favorite at 1/2.

What color top will Kim Kardashian be wearing at the Super Bowl?
Black 5/6 odds.  The options here were "White", "Black" or "Any other color." At first I thought, wouldn't she just wear Reggie? Then I was like, no shes probably too fashion conscious to do that (despite the fact that certain girls can look real hot in jerseys). I would guess that she will go with a black top and some kind of gold scarf or shawl or whatever the hell the things are that go around your neck for fashion.

How many times will CBS announcers fully mention Hurricane Katrina during the game?
Over 2.5. I can easily hear them bringing up Katrina in the early-going, say the first Saints possession, especially if they score a TD. I can also absolutely hear them saying it again if the Saints are kneeling it out or if they score late in the game. Other than that, you could easily get a return from halftime or halftime mention...that's 3 right? Katrina will be pounded home. Gotta go for the heartstrings if you're CBS. What they should really have up is the O/U for the number of times it will be mentioned in the pregame show. I would put those odds at about O/U 3743 times. Not sure which way I would swing...

How many times will CBS show South Beach during the game?
Over 2. This one is real easy. You're going to see South Beach at the beginning of the game when it is still light outside, and at least another time when it gets dark. That puts you at a push. The only way to go is up after that so play it safe and take the over. Unless the forecast is for rain. If that is the case, stay away or take the under. No one likes a rainy beach.

How many times will CBS show Bourbon Street on TV during the game?
Over 2. Bourbon Street is something that everyone wants to see. Who can resist no law and drunken debauchery. Try and tell me if you were heading out the door, but you saw that the Cops episode of Mardi Gras was coming on, you wouldn't stall and watch at least the first 5 minutes, after which you would find yourself watching the entire marathon. The Big Easy is Easy Money.

Which Super Bowl commercial will have a higher rating on USA Today's annual Ad Meter?
Budweiser 5/8 odds. Interestingly, Miller Lite and Coors Light are not even listed on this bet (other than the "Other" category). Bud seems to come out ahead every year, with the only commercial that may have beat out Budweiser this year being one that CBS has already rejected.

How many times will CBS show Eli Manning on TV during the game?
Under 3. Nobody cares about Eli. The only way that this goes over is if Eli remains attached to Archie by the hip for the entire game. Show me Cooper, the red-headed stepchild of the Manning family. Show me the one brother with no ring, as he just tries to ride on the coattails of his two mega-successful QB brothers. In fact, give me an entire profile and follow him for his typical day. That would be something I would be interested in.

Cooper: "Well, first, Dad wakes me up with a stare of disgust from my basement room. Then he tells me to mow the lawn or get a job in the NFL cause that grass isn't going to mow itself. After that, I go downstairs and eat some fruity pebbles while Eli and Peyton eat their Wheaties. Once I'm finished with the lawn, I go upstairs and play Madden with any team other than the Giants, Saints or Colts and I feverishly attempt to injure my brothers in the game, cause if I tried in real life, Dad would stop paying for my Xbox Live subscription."

Please CBS. Give me Cooper: The Untold Manning Story.

Check back later this week for my Super Bowl pick and other props that look to be enticing.