Quick Hits

-The undefeated Texas Longhorns finally lost a game last night to a team from Kansas. No, not that one, the other one.

-This morning on ESPN2's Cold Pizza or whatever they call it now, Skip Bayless claimed that the Indianapolis Colts have the best defense of the remaining teams in the playoffs. As he said this, Raiders shutdown corner Nnamdi Asomugha stared in disgust across the table. My personal outrage lasted only a second or two, as I remembered how certifiably uncertified Skip Bayless is to make any kind of real, reasonable sports judgment or opinion. Bayless is a "shockjock" former journalist, gasping to remain relevant with his daily segments on 1st and 10. This is the same guy that wanted the USA to forgo the Olympic games from now on and conduct our own personal Olympics where Americans compete against Americans. He also has spent a large amount of his face time telling LeBron James that he is not clutch. Shockingly, LeBron has never responded to Skip's criticism.

It's time to take Skip, Woody Paige, and Stephen A. Smith, put them in a cage and let them argue until they have expended their vocal cords so viewers never will be subjected to their verbal assault again.

-Chan Gailey to be introduced as the Buffalo Bills new head coach. Looking toward the 2011 season when the Bills need another new head coach, the job requirements may look something like this:

Looking for an individual who has failed at multiple levels of his profession, including the top. Preseason NFL experience a bonus, but not required. Flexibility a must, as job has high potential to move to Los Angeles or Toronto.

 -Jonathan Papelbon of the Boston Red Sox is likely going to push Theo Epstein to his first arbitration hearing after the two meet to discuss contract figures today. Papelbon is reportedly going to ask for $10 million, which could force the Sox to try and move him with Daniel Bard quickly developing into a potential closer. Only problem for both parties is that typically January does not hold a big closer demand market and there are very, very few teams that could take on that kind of salary hit. Guess Theo is going to have to work his magic again...

-ATTN: Ben Sheets is still a free agent. That is all.

-Word is out that SP Felix Hernandez of the Seattle Mariners has re-upped his contract to somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 years/$80 million. This is mind boggling. Sure, the guy had a Cy Young-material season last year going 19-5 with a 2.49 ERA. But before last season, he was 39-36 over five seasons. There is no doubt that the 23-year old kid has talent and promise, but for the Mariners to invest $80 million in him while a creaky Ken Griffey Jr. roams the outfield alongside the batsh*t crazy Milton Bradley and the biggest names on the infield grass are Chone Figgins and Casey Kotchman. I guess that $80 million is hoping that King Felix pitches a shutout every other start, because this is NOT going to be a run-producing offense.

-The NBA All Star Weekend Slam Dunk Competition needs to be removed from the All Star weekend. It no longer seems to draw any star power and now that LeBron has backed out, there is very little reason to watch the event. Here are the marquee dunkers of the NBA that will be competing: returning champ Nate Robinson (who expressed disinterest in even participating, claiming the NBA is "forcing" him); Gerald Wallace (the only true star in the competition); Shannon Brown (that decent back up guard for the Lakers, you know, that former first round pick for the Cavs? No? He averages 7.1 PPG! Geez, know your NBA back-up 23 year old journeymen. 4 teams in three years.) and finally, two rookies that no one cares about or has ever even seen dunk a basketball.

There you have it, your LeBron-less Slam Dunk Competition. Get hyped.